[Rank Dispatches, with Brother 3000]
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As the white smoke heralds in a raw up-and-comer with the KFC burgeresque surname, the faithful can get back to holy maths under the watchful eye of their tasty new father figure. One could be forgiven for imagining sins will continue to be forgiven. However, forgiveness was certainly not on the agenda of an elderly Christian lady I picked up recently. Cruising past one of those 'Beef and Surf' restaurants, I spotted her waving a cane at me like an accusatory finger. She seemed sweet though, and could easily have passed for Mother Teresa's sister, Auntie Teresa. |
We began discussing the finer points of the weather, but the conversation soon took a turn towards the frivolous, when she asked me if I believed in God.
‘I'm not a believer’, I replied.
‘But just look all around you, at the beauty the Lord has created’, she appealed. I could only shrug my shoulders as we traversed the decaying urban wasteland of the inner west.
‘The Bible says Jesus died for you and loves you.’
‘Yes, but you can't take everything in there for gospel.’
Silence.
Five minutes later, we were parked in her driveway, the fare had been paid, she was exiting the cab... and then she said it: ‘you will lose all your friends and have no money.’
As she wandered quietly up the path, I sat there utterly stunned, pondering this bilious double curse.
Back home, trying to make sense of it all, I vowed never to lend any money to friends - it'll only end in tears. But Mrs Brother 3000 summed it up most succinctly when she said: ‘stupid freakin' bitch’.
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