[Cricket, with the Lord of Byron]
Fourth Test: South Africa v England the Brave
Beset by injury and given up for dead by many pundits, England again displayed the resilience of a quality side and surged to victory with only 8.3 overs to spare in the Fourth Test at Cape Town. Despite the injuries and the poor form of stars Harmison and Flintoff (when batting), lesser lights Hoggard and Trescothick stepped up and snatched back the match, after Strauss’s usual first innings century. England now has a 2-1 lead in the five Test series.
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During the match, South African coach Ray Jennings again made the news, this time concussing captain Graeme Smith by hitting him in the head during his famously over-exuberant fielding drills. England didn’t offer too much sympathy to Smith as they were angry that he had appeared as a witness at the England captain’s disciplinary hearing, where Vaughan was fined his entire match fee for commenting on the way the umpires offered the light.
Jennings is very popular with most cricket writers, as one simply has to quote him:
"At tea-time he [Makhaya Ntini] seemed dull and out of it so I put him in an ice bath and it really made him mad ... he abused me and I said to the other bowlers they had to perform after tea or they would also need to cool off."
"When I hit a ball, I concentrate on the player to whom I am directing the shot and I do not watch what is happening behind him. It was quite by chance that Graeme was walking behind some of the players."
"It is one thing having a hard nut as a coach, quite another having simply a nut." (South African journalist Neil Manthorp on Jennings).
VB One Day Series: Australia, West Indies, Pakistan - Matches 1 to 5
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Things were going along very predictably in this series until match four, when the West Indies managed to ransack the Australian top order before being robbed of victory by the nasty Brisbane weather. Normal service was then resumed. |
Supergod Shoaib Akhtar, who allegedly 'attacks off-field life as if he only has a month to live', heads back home after finally totally breaking down, so viewers will miss the opportunity to see him plunged into an ice bath and emerge shaking his head like a dog. Well, that’s what the Lady of Byron and I wanted anyway.
There are rumours that Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf is frothing at the mouth as a result of the team’s poor performances, so it is no wonder that Inzy is 'not feeling good on the inside'. He’s been seen shaking hands with John Howard, but he should have been told that asylum is right out of the question and recalled Vaughan’s stance towards Mugabe when England toured Zimbabwe. Just say no. It’s not all bad though, as Inzy and Shahid Afridi have found some good form. These two are truly ornaments to the game and will be missed when they return home. I gather that Channel Nine are building figurines of them already.
"It is hard trying to bowl at 155km/h all the time. You do get niggles. It's like driving a Ferrari. After every few laps you have to get it serviced. I came here with a slight hamstring problem and it got worse after the first two Tests." - Shoaib Akhtar
There have been a few allegations thrown at the Pakistani team over the years and coach Bob Woolmer always states that they can’t be true because his players pray five times a day. This is a rather dangerous and disingenuous line of thought. Does he not remember the indulgences of Hansie Cronje and Pope Leo 'don’t call me X' X? Still, thus far there have been no sightings in the Pakistan dressing rooms of panthers, white elephants or boys jumping out of puddings.
In other off-field cricket drama, there are concerns about "feral" behaviour in Bay 13 at the MCG. It was reported that spectators were passing the hat and collecting money to pay young women to engage in lewd conduct and young men to drink pots of beer until they were ill. Sounds good to me, though the mid-strength beer served at the MCG is enough to make anyone queasy.
In passing, some words of advice to young people:
"Trust no one" - Stuart MacGill
"Socks first, then shoes" - Jason Gillespie.
Zimmers in the frame
Meanwhile, in Bangladesh, fascinating things are happening. After winning the first Test against Zimbabwe, Bangladesh revived the tradition of playing for a draw in the second and ground out 5/285 from 142 overs when refusing to chase 374. Opener Javed Omar set the pace with 43 from 258 balls. However, Zimbabwe have fought back in the one day series, largely due to the performances of captain Taibu, and lead 2-0 with 3 more to play.
"I feel the draw was better than a win" - Dav Whatmore, Bangladesh's coach.
Record breaking shirts and the price of fame
What exactly is the price of fame? Well, the recent eBay Tsunami charity auction of the players’ shirts from the Asia v The Rest game at the MCG tells us who the Australian public rates and by how much.
As expected, Warney’s shirt was record breaking, raising more than the sixteen cheapest shirts combined. There were a number of multi million dollar bids for his shirt, including one of $16 million, presumably from a very naughty child, before eBay investigated and cancelled the rogue bids.
People have wondered in which sense the Shane Warne 'as seen relentlessly on TV' shirt is record breaking. Many believe that it couldn’t possibly compete with the Doug Walters’ equivalent, which is reckoned to have had at least three times as many cigarette burns and beer stains.
For the record, Warne’s shirt fetched $140,700, followed by Ponting’s at $60,405, then Lara’s at $26,350. The lowest price was achieved by Zaheer Khan’s shirt at $5,100 and perhaps surprisingly, Tendulkar’s only fetched $17,200.
The falls
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In others news, there is much toppling. Kenyan cricket is close to collapse and in Canterbury, the home of Kent Cricket Club, the famous 60-feet high lime tree has blown over in a storm. The tree, which is inside the boundary rope, was at Canterbury even before the ground staged its first first-class match in 1847. It has been ailing for a while though, and a replacement has already been planted on the field. |