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The mace presented to Yushchenko was a superlative example of a modern ceremonial weapon. Created by one of the finest metal-smiths in Eastern Europe, it features a non-slip rubber handle, a series of finely turned flanges on the main shaft, and an orb-like head covered with sharp conical studs. Holding aloft this elegant accessory to official power after his inauguration, the new president aligned himself with the dignified rule of the 17th century Cossack ruler Bohdan Khmelnitsky who wielded such a mace while fiercely resisting the Polish army. Hopefully this handy implement will help Yushchenko ward off attacks from future threats to Ukrainian independence and perhaps also to the edibility of his presidential luncheons.
With this in mind, a proposal for enhancing the political power of our elected representatives, one which would have the advantage of also augmenting the ceremonial beauty of the office, would be to extend the use of symbolic weapons to a broader range of lower-ranking government officials. The range of ancient bludgeons is quite broad and fine examples can be readily sourced from local metalsmiths and jewellers. Some initial proposals could include: the ceremonial skull club for the Minister of Justice; the ceremonial battle axe for the Minister of Immigration; the ornamental flail for the Minister of Police. These lesser ceremonial implements, certainly not as resplendent as the Australian ceremonial mace, but perhaps more convenient in a state of emergency, could usefully symbolize the power of the office while adding a touch of fascination and glamour to even the dullest Cabinet posts. Furthermore, although intended as purely metaphorical embodiments of power, their practical application could, with time, expand. Needlessly long press conferences, with their tiresome and probing questions, could be effectively dismissed with a swing of the ceremonial club; obstructive laws preventing summary arrest would no longer prevent the most efficient exercise of government. Those with complaints could be told: talk to the mace.
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